I would say that 2008 was a year of stunned happiness and absolute bewilderment. Finding out I was pregnant after so many years of infertility was wonderful but just kind of unbelievable. Even now, with the proof sleeping in his crib I find it hard to believe!
2009 has been a year of highs and lows, thrills and tears, and not enough sleep. Started out 2009 with the thrill of giving birth (via cesarean) to Alexander Tecwyn! Just the most amazing thing. The happiness of having a little babe at home was tempered by the fact that I was sick and in a lot of pain finally culminating with a trip to the ER with pancreatitis and then surgery to remove my evil gallbladder. 2 surgeries in my life and both happened in the first quarter of this year!
During the first few months of the year not only were we experiencing the delight of being new parents, Ryan was also starting a new job with a much longer commute. He loves his new position but really hated that he had to drive to work instead of commuting by recumbent trike. Then we heard about the $8000 tax rebate for first time home buyers and we looked in to the program. The home buying process is the scary part of the roller coaster where you go through a dark cave and monsters jump out at you. It’s kind of fun but you are counting the seconds until you’re out of there and are just so happy and relieved when you see daylight again and poof, now you’re a homeowner!
This summer we were glowing from the wonderful high of buying our first home! The glow faded a little with a big plumbing bill, McCoy getting covered (literally!) in yellow jackets, and the discovery of mice! But the wonderfulness of having our own place with LAND and a cycling commute for Ryan far outweighed the negative.
Fall started with the beautiful wedding of Ryan’s little brother and the joyful addition of Michaela to our family. Then there was the horrible/wonderful 2 weeks of Ryan’s writing workshop. Wonderful for him, a great experience, but sad and lonely for me plus another big check to the plumbers while he was gone!
Then we had the low of worrying over Xander as he wasn’t gaining weight and was falling behind developmentally. Extra iron to combat his anemia helped him start gaining weight again (last weigh in the doctor said we didn’t need to worry about it anymore) and Xander scoffed at the milestone delays. In about one weeks time he added 4 new verbalization’s. That same week he sat up in his own for the first time, 2 weeks later he stood up on his own, and now he’s cruising the furniture no problem and last night stood up not holding on to anything several times. He’ll be walking soon I’m sure (run doggies run!).
November came and we had so much to be thankful for! We had wonderful visits with Ryan’s family and then my brother and his wife. After Thanksgiving came the second big high of the year, a positive pregnancy test! Getting pregnant with Xander wasn’t just a fluke! This is one of those high points on the ride, it now plummets down with twists and turns and you really wish you could get off while it’s at the top but unfortunately you’re buckled in.
A week after finding out we were pregnant we suffered a miscarriage. The very same day, I found out my sister has malignant melanoma. Still buckled in to the ride and really wanting off I knew Christmas was right around the corner.
It was Xander’s first one and should be full of happiness and that really wasn’t what I was feeling. Have to let the anger and sadness go and look towards the future. Which is easier said than done. Decorating the tree and wrapping gifts for Xander did bring about cheerfulness. It was such a delight watching him experience his first Christmas and a great way to end the year and exit the ride.
I’d complain and say that I don’t want to ride any more roller coasters but it’s a lie. I always hated the sedate rides, the thrill of getting on Space Mountain was so much better than riding Dumbo round and round. Even knowing I’d be scared to death when the yeti jumps out at you I’d still stand in line for the Matterhorn time and time again. Life has lows, there’s no escaping them. We have to suffer through them if we want to experience the highs. And I think the highs are worth it.